I don’t know how…

I don’t know how it’s come to this,
Standing on the this precipice,
above the nihilistic abyss.

Memories decayed to dust at dusk
we rust in the darkest hours until husks we become

So I’m stuck
heaving,
howling,
hurting.

Drifting in pools of tears from years of yearning
icebergs cracked by silent lightning
drifting apart like the same blood never flows twice
am I a clot so far from your heart?
congealed in surreal absence unhealed in abstinence
leading only one fate should I reach your core:
death?

In the darkness,
the daunting uncertain maze,
I thought sleep was my only friend,
but then I met a shadow man
ever constant
behind me
beside me
before me
a peer of perseverance in adversity
a hand to hold
a love to know
a new vocabulary for an illiterate heart
in darkness we illuminated one another
with kisses of koinonia kindling
a to-and-fro throw of cutting and healing
pushing and feeling
hushed and kneeling before Him

and where is he now?

Falling from this precipice,
above the nihilistic abyss,
my hand held out for him to miss,
I don’t know how it’s come to this…

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